Mema has Homecare workers who come on Monday, Wednesday & Friday. Monday & Friday are "bath & beauty" days, in that after her shower, the helper rolls her hair. She really enjoys this, and it lifts her spirits. Who doesn't feel better after having their hair done? :-) Then go shopping!!! :-)
Mondays a helper is here for 2 hours, 10 am - Noon; and for 3 hours each on Wednesday, 10 am - 1 pm; and Friday, 11 am - 2 pm. Wednesday is conference call day for me with my employer; I work from home as a grant-writer for Pewabic Pottery, located 120 miles south in Detroit, and need someone here during that time to assist Mema 10 am - 1 pm, when I usually take lunch.
Yesterday, I ran some errands and went to physical therapy while her helper was here, then to pick to up a hot dog at Dairy Queen for her lunch. She had been craving a good hot dog for a few weeks. We went to A&W one day, where they serve Kogel hot dogs (a Michigan thing), however it was tough for her to eat as she has no "lowers." I asked at Dairy Queen, and they serve a regular hot dog, which turned out softer for Mema to eat!
When I returned home ~2:30, Mema was on the floor in the kitchen! "OMG!!! What happened? How did you fall?" I asked, "Are you OK? Anything hurt?" "Yes, I'm OK. I went to answer the phone."
"I'm sorry... I've told you not to worry about getting the phone!" "Well, I called out for Jimmy, but he didn't answer." "Moma, Daddy's been dead for 11 years." "Well, that explains why he didn't answer!" she replied.
"John had left, and no one else was here," she said. "Mom, John (my brother) is in S.C., and we are in Michigan; no one was here but you after Tia left."
I felt REALLY bad, as I had called to see if she also wanted an eclair or something from the bakery, but she didn't answer. I though she'd be in her room, where she usually stays most of the day. She was only alone for ~1/2 hour, but that's all it took.
SAFETY NOTE: MAKE SURE MEMA ALWAYS HAS THE PHONE ON HER WALKER SEAT BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE!!! EVEN IF SOMEONE ELSE IS HERE!!!
I rolled her walker over to her and asked if she could try to get up by herself. I have back issues and have been in physical therapy since before Christmas myself, and it wouldn't do to have 2 injured people in the house again! She was able to pull herself up, and had no complaints of pain, so was OK. I noticed when I looked around, that her walker wheels were locked, as they should be, and it was directly beside the table. She had tried to walk the few steps to the bar where the phone is, and obviously could not make it even those 3-4 steps alone. I tried not to admonish her, and just told her that she must be careful & always use her walker. She tried to blame the chair, which does have casters on it, but it was obvious that the chair had not scooted, and that she was just trying to be independent and attempted it without assistance.
Later in the afternoon, I was working on a couple of grants when she came into my office. She asked about some guy, "you remember, we went to see a presentation in the auditorium... you took me last week." "No, Mom, I don't remember that." "Well, it was to buy some other house." "No, we're not moving anywhere. We're going to Myrtle Beach in a few weeks, though. Are you talking about a time-share?" "Something like that, but they didn't call it that" she said.
Well, we hadn't been to any presentation, and the only time I know of that she had been to one was ~10 years before Daddy passed away, so ~21 years ago. But I chatted with her a bit about timeshares and the value/cost not being worth it, then she went back to her room and I continued my editing. No talk of this "trailer" we (don't) live in today! LOL
Linda, you're doing a great job! My mom's also confused, and much of it has to do with short term memory loss. She really got on Craig when we were in Kansas City over the fact that he had on shorts and was taking some beer to a barbecue at my brother's house. I realized later that she was thinking back to my dad in the 50's or before. Yes, people did used to dress up when they went to family functions, and yes, my dad would have never drank beer in front of his devout Baptist parents! The best coping mechanism is a sense of humor and diversion tactics, and you've got both!
ReplyDeleteMay 28, 2011 12:58 PM
Yes, I've discovered that you DEFINITELY must have a sense of humor!!!
ReplyDeleteBless you, Linda. I think that blogging about Mema will be both theraputic and helpful. You should be able to get some advice from those who have been through it and moral support, as well. I read a book once by author Amy Tan, and she described how her attitude changed when her mother was suffering dementia from a 'correct her and try to make her understand' tactic, to a 'comfort her' one. Instead of trying to make her mother understand and agree with her, she just took the road of agreeing with her to calm her down. Not sure how that would really work and if it would work in all circumstances, but I found it interesting.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more stories. <3
Yes, Jana, earlier in this adventure did I try to correct her confusion and misunderstandings, but Ali told me, "Linda, you don't always have to be right." I told him I know, but she was mistaken. I then came to the realization that her misunderstanding was not going to change, so I should just go-with-the-flow instead of stressing.
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